i crawled back into my mother
with question marks
on both sides of my skin
inside i blew tiny bubbles
in morse code signalling things like why
do i believe love has to be earned why
is it a currency that comes with a balance sheet why
is my religion that i have to leave before i am – left my
ears always ready for the starter pistol why
is there this constant sizzle
of nervous electricity in the deepest core of my circuit
she answered
or didn’t answer
her words like an ancient blue whale whispering
to a bottlenose dolphin too busy chasing its own tail
all i remembered
when i spewed myself out of her water
made a near-perfect sand angel
and dried up in the rainbow-hatching sun –
all i fear –
in time my own daughter will
ask me the same questions
==
This poem first appeared in Shooter Literary Magazine – Issue #17, Autumn/Winter 2023.